I thought that we were meant to be.. Even my close friends thought so too. Oh HELL I was wrong. I cried & cried & cried for so long, my eyes became swollen, & i felt totally helpless. I still feel helpless. I feel heartbroken, sad, angry, mad, disappointed, & every negative feeling that exists, it's there in me. I feel confused. How come so sudden? How come the sudden change? How come the sudden change in you? We were doing just fine before this, but yet, it was like I was walking alone in a narrow corridor, & the doors on both sides of me were SLAMMED SHUT, so suddenly. I was speechless. I still am. The reasons you gave me were quite..suspicious.
Up til now, i don't think/believe that those are the actual reasons. HOW CAN I BE SO DAMN FUCKIN FREAKIN STUPID? 3 years & 2 weeks obviously doesn't mean a thing to u. Maybe to you, it's just a number. Oh wait, we went out for 3 years, 5 months & 2 weeks. Many don't know about those 5 months. I thought that I can handle this, & that once I've cried alot at one go, I won't cry anymore & there won't be any tears left. Guess what? Again, i was wrong. I thought i was strong. HAH. Ya right, Sahidah, bloody hell.

I cried in my room, in the toilet, in the bus, in the mrt, in school.................fuck. Some of you might be surprised/shocked by the language I'm using here. But hey, let's be honest here. Nobody's perfect. No one. Don't judge me by how I look. Just because I may be a QUIET PERSON, do NOT judge me.

I woke up this morning, & I was blur. I thought of you and was thinking of the days/dates we were gg to meet & i felt happy...then something struck me..that's when I realised... I don't have you............................................................................................................................................................. and my tears started streaming down my face straight away & i stayed in my bed, gasping for breath. For a whole hour. One hour.

And to think that I thought so highly of you; i thought the world of you; i had high hopes for us.

I'm speechless; totally speechless. I hope you're happy, cos I'm not.

I thought u love me, u promised u wouldn't leave me...but u did................................................
Why oh why did you ask me to be yours 3 years ago if you don't want me now?
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

I'm empty.

This is how i feel. Some lyrics from "Unbeautiful" -Lesley Roy.

Don't hang up
Can we talk
So confused
It's like I'm lost
What went wrong
What made you go
Don't pretend you don't know
This is me
I'm unchangeable

When did we
Fall apart
Or did you lie
From the start
When you said
It's only you
I was blind
Such a fool
Thinking we
We're unbreakable

It was you & me against the world
And you promised me forever more
Was it something that i said?
Was it something that i did?
Cos i gotta know
What made me unbeautiful....

I've been told
What's done is done
To let it go
And carry on
And deep inside
I know that's true
I'm stuck in time
I'm stuck on you
We were still untouchable

Because we're much better
All together
Can't let go

;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;(